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Entire Theory Of DNA Brought Into Question
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POODELL, MA - An independant lab today released to the public domain their latest work in genetics. Studying the DNA of the common fruit fly, they have determined that the current course of genetics is based on an entirely flawed theory.

"The going theory is that DNA is a double helix of chemicals grouped into pairs of the letters A, T, C, and G. We are using the latest in electron microscope technology, able to resolve down to a hundredth of the diameter of a proton," said Marly Stephens, director of the lab, "and we were frankly stunned at the discovery ourselves. We weren't looking for it, but there it was." Marly showed several digital images taken through the Peerson-IV microscope, and pointed out that, "the letters just aren't there. If they were there, this baby would pick them up. Everything we've been taught is wrong."

"Ummm," responds Dr. Tom Dalek, of DNAid, a non-profit company seeking to map the entire genome of all mammals, "well, the letters are just names we gave them, really. I mean, they were never there to begin with."

"Exactly," said Stephens, "Exactly."

The science publication Nature has declined to publish the results of the study.
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