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Do-Not-Visit List Suffers Setback, Harry: "I'm Just Friendly!"
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SOMEWHERE, WA - The Federal Do-Not-Visit list has been declared unconstitutional by America's highest court and will not be put into effect next month. "The whole idea is just silly," said Justice Bob McCarthy, "I mean, what are the chances he's even going to visit you?"

"Obviously, his Honor has not had the pleasure" of meeting the man at the center of the controversy, counters Nevada Sentator Lawrence Wood. Harry Dikendroog, of Portland Oregon, is the focus of the list. His tendancy to drop in on neighbors, family, and even complete strangers prompted an outcry from his community.

"It was four and five times a week! The bell would ring, and there'd be Harry!" says a Portland resident that asked her name not be used. "Something had to be done."

What started at a townhall meeting nineteen months ago has mushroomed into a national debate over a man's right to visit his neighbors and his neighbors right to tell him to bug off.

"I wouldn't have minded if they'd just said something to me. But I mean, an act of Congress? I think that's a little over the top," said Dikendroog. "It's not like I mean to annoy people. I'm just friendly."

The "Harry Bill" as it's known publicly will be brought back up "at the earliest possible session", says Senator Wood, "and this time it'll stick. This man's a menace."
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