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Tropical Storm Denied Upgrade To Hurricane 'Disappointed'
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JUANABEE ISLAND GROUP, ATLANTIC OCEAN - Tropical storm Kevin was denied an upgrade to a hurricane today by the National Hurricane Center in Miami. "We knew it was a long shot when we submitted the application," said Theo Maynard. Maynard is the atmospheric disburance's legal representative. "But with the 'hurricane fever' that has struck the nation, we were hoping they might rubber-stamp an upgrade."

"Well, it is unusual," said Martin Themes, one of the meteorologists tracking the storm. "Ordinarily, we just watch them and when they're spinning so fast and moving so fast, we upgrade them. I don't think we've ever been petitioned like this before." Themes went on to say that the application may have backfired. "In reviewing this storm, we discovered that our software had a glitch that was overlooking a storm status factor. When the changes come online, I think we may end up downgrading Kevin to a Tropical Depression."

"It isn't the outcome he was hoping for, naturally," said Maynard, "but he supports the storm-rating system. He isn't trying to rock the boat, as it were." He added, "'Depression'. How ironic is that?"
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