DESNPHEC, MN - Flaviviridae, commonly called West Nile Virus, has filed a class-action lawsuit against McAfee, Norton, and ViruStop seeking to bar them from referring to malicious computer programs as "viruses".

"It's insulting, firstly. My 'code', if you will, is much more complex than any computer program. But more importantly, it's slanderous. It makes it sound like all viruses are bad," said Flaviviridae. He pointed to gene-therapy research, which employs viruses to carry the rearranged DNA into the target cell. "The point is, here is one way in which the virus community has already contributed. Are there other ways? With this stigma hanging over us, we will never know. These companies are fomenting ill-will toward all of us." The suit, if allowed to go ahead, will call for all known viruses to join. Even if only a portion do, it will still be a huge case with thousands of litigants.

"We've handled large cases before, it won't be a problem," said Hector Renquist. Renquist, Teller, and Benoit, LLC are representing the viruses. "The size is not historic, but the case is. It's the first time a non-sentient creature has sued for slander. Or for anything, as far as I know."

"There is debate in the scientific community as to whether viruses are even alive, much less sentient," said Albert Prince, head of the legal affairs division of ViruStop. "I don't think they have the legal right to bring a suit. It would be like [grocery store chain] 'Big Bear' getting sued by a Grizzly."

"We don't want this to become a civil rights issue," said Renquist, "but if the industry wants to play the 'rights' card, we'll see them. And raise."

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) said that their organization "is not blind to the prejudices faced by biological infectious organisms, but it is focused on addressing the needs of mammals, birds, reptiles, and other larger, more visible creatures." The Animal Rights League did not return our calls for comment.
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