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Nobel Prize Hopeful Is "Shocked, Hurt"
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TRAHVUSTEE, TX - Despite repeated emails, letters, and even an eleventh-hour telegram campaign, Bernie Lubbock was unable to convince the Nobel Foundation to consider offering a "Chili Prize". "A good chili is as much science as anything," said Lubbock, "and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think mine was the best. Besides, they gave them fellers a prize for findin' out how cells drink! C'Mon, what's that got to do with anything? But a good chili, now there's something worth gettin' outta yer chair for."

The Nobel Prizes are awarded from the foundation established by Alfred Nobel in 1900. There are a number of categories, all are devoted to science or literature. There are no culinary entries. A page on the web site ( points out that no new prizes will be added to the current list.

"I'm shocked, hurt," said Lubbock on reading the web site. "You can't tell me that a man that invented dynamite wouldn't appreciate a good chili!"

The foundation did not respond to Mr. Lubbock's campaign or our inquiries.
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