The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
A Link Between Hearing And Attractiveness
(email to a friend)

QULEWLESS, ONTARIO, CANADA - Researchers have released the results of a study showing a definitive link between hearing and physical attractiveness. "We were really surprised by the findings. But we tested again with a separate set of subjects and the results were irrefutable," said Wally Runkin. Runkin is the lead researcher on the study and a professor of social studies at Qulewless University.

"We broke our test subjects into three groups; Attractive, Less attractive, and Ugly, referred to as the A, L, and U groups. When the males in the A group said in a loud voice, 'Hi, how are you?' to passing females, 95% of them responded. Only 65% of those in the L group were heard, and only 15% of the U group were audible," said Runkin, himself a member of the L group.

Paul Adler was in the first U group. "I tried saying it louder," said Adler, "and I tried leaning toward them a bit. Sometimes I even caught their eyes. But as soon as I spoke, it was clear that I wasn't being heard."

The study team hopes to publish their findings in Hearing Health. Said Runkin, "With other researchers looking into this phenomenon, hopefully we can find the connection and find a way to counteract it."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved