QULEWLESS, ONTARIO, CANADA - Researchers have released the results of a study showing a definitive link between hearing and physical attractiveness. "We were really surprised by the findings. But we tested again with a separate set of subjects and the results were irrefutable," said Wally Runkin. Runkin is the lead researcher on the study and a professor of social studies at Qulewless University.

"We broke our test subjects into three groups; Attractive, Less attractive, and Ugly, referred to as the A, L, and U groups. When the males in the A group said in a loud voice, 'Hi, how are you?' to passing females, 95% of them responded. Only 65% of those in the L group were heard, and only 15% of the U group were audible," said Runkin, himself a member of the L group.

Paul Adler was in the first U group. "I tried saying it louder," said Adler, "and I tried leaning toward them a bit. Sometimes I even caught their eyes. But as soon as I spoke, it was clear that I wasn't being heard."

The study team hopes to publish their findings in Hearing Health. Said Runkin, "With other researchers looking into this phenomenon, hopefully we can find the connection and find a way to counteract it."
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