The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Riot Erupts Over Cancellation Of Symphony
(email to a friend)

FREEFURAL, CANADA - Concert goers expressed their outrage over the cancellation of the Freefural Symphony Orchestra's performance by rioting for several hours. The riot began about 30 minutes after the symphony was to begin. The conductor took the empty stage well after the start time and announced simply, "Tonight's performance is cancelled. We apologize for the inconvenience." The stunned crowd sat silently for a few moments, then a voice rang out, "Let's wreck this place!".

Police were called to disperse the crowd. Crowd-control tactics were stymied by the slow pace of valet parking. Several valets reported receiving small or no tips, and three were physically assaulted. "Mr. Lamphorn punched me right in the face," said Tito Alfonz, one of the few valets that agreed to be interviewed. "He's like 150 years old, so it really didn't hurt. But I wasn't expecting it, either."

"We aren't usually looking for this caliber of crowd to turn ugly," said Sergeant Gary Jahm, "Well, I mean, they aren't the easiest-on-the-eyes group on the best of days, but at least they're well-mannered." The concert hall was littered with shattered wine bottles, cubes of cheese, and broken walking sticks. Several minor injuries were reported, but local hospitals confirmed that no one was held over night. Concert hall staff say that damage to the hall was minimal. "But it's quite a mess. I've never seen this before," said Megan Manning, head of the cleaning department.

No charges are pending in the case. "But we're still investigating," noted Jahm.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved