FREEFURAL, CANADA - Concert goers expressed their outrage over the cancellation of the Freefural Symphony Orchestra's performance by rioting for several hours. The riot began about 30 minutes after the symphony was to begin. The conductor took the empty stage well after the start time and announced simply, "Tonight's performance is cancelled. We apologize for the inconvenience." The stunned crowd sat silently for a few moments, then a voice rang out, "Let's wreck this place!".

Police were called to disperse the crowd. Crowd-control tactics were stymied by the slow pace of valet parking. Several valets reported receiving small or no tips, and three were physically assaulted. "Mr. Lamphorn punched me right in the face," said Tito Alfonz, one of the few valets that agreed to be interviewed. "He's like 150 years old, so it really didn't hurt. But I wasn't expecting it, either."

"We aren't usually looking for this caliber of crowd to turn ugly," said Sergeant Gary Jahm, "Well, I mean, they aren't the easiest-on-the-eyes group on the best of days, but at least they're well-mannered." The concert hall was littered with shattered wine bottles, cubes of cheese, and broken walking sticks. Several minor injuries were reported, but local hospitals confirmed that no one was held over night. Concert hall staff say that damage to the hall was minimal. "But it's quite a mess. I've never seen this before," said Megan Manning, head of the cleaning department.

No charges are pending in the case. "But we're still investigating," noted Jahm.
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