The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Anti-Spam(tm) Bill Defeated In Senate
(email to a friend)

WASHINGTON - The U.S. Senate voted Wednesday on a highly controversial bill that would have eliminated Spam(tm) in America. "This was not a defeat for me," said Senator Ryan Loraine, of Oregon, "The American waistline suffered a defeat today."

Spam has been sold in the U.S. since 1937, selling over five billion cans, according to the Hormel web site.

"It's an abomination to know that in the 21st century, we're still feeding this tripe to our children," said Loraine, "and I really thought we had the political will to stop it. But the special interests weigh in, and when they do, what can be done?"

"The senator is mistaken," responds Allen Hormel-Rankin, head of product development for Hormel's Spam division. "Spam has been and continues to be a very nutritious and delicious meat product. It has a higher salt content than unprocessed meat, but it is in line with other processed meats, such as bologna. And we provide a lower-sodium version of Spam. With all of the food products on the market, many with questionable and even dangerous content, why would he choose to pick on an American staple?"

"I just don't like it," admitted Loraine. "My mother used to fry it with mustard and put it on a sandwich. I ate those stupid things three times a week."

The bill was defeated by a vote of 99 to 1.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved