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AAPCC Announces "Don't Drink Poison Week"
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BALTIMORE, MD - Hoping to ride on the success of "Safe Driving Week", the American Association of Poison Control Centers (AAPCC) is sponsoring "Don't Drink Poison Week". "There are just so many poisons," said Marlene Becker, Head of Volunteer Coordination, "So many things that people can ingest that will hurt them. We're trying to raise the public's awareness about these things."

An informal survey conducted by The Bentinel found that 90% of people would choose not to drink poison during the campaign. "That correlates with our own data," responded Bob Teel, the AAPCC's current director. "We've talked to hundreds of people and there is very strong support for not drinking poison."

A list of known poisons was taken off of the organization's web site when it was found that teenagers were using it as a "shopping list" for substances to get a cheap "high" on. "Instead, we now list approved liquids, things that can be safely ingested," says Becker, "If it's not on the list, our advice is -- don't drink it."

A review of the list finds most major brands of soda, coffee, tea, and water. Alcohol is absent, though interestingly, 'public pool water' is listed as "approved". When asked about these, Teel replied, "In small quantities, pool water is perfectly acceptable. Alcohol is an open question, we won't go there. And of course neither Tab nor Faygo were listed, because they're just nasty."

Tab, Faygo, and the Petroleum Council all refused our requests for comment.
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