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CDC Warns Against Starring In A Medical Drama
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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC issued a statement Wednesday warning the American public to avoid starring in any television show that focuses on medical drama. "The incidence of the characters becoming ill from highly unusual diseases is disproportionately high among this group," said Caroline Kilgore, a researcher for the CDC. "Particularly among the stars of the show. Bit players and extras don't seem to be vulnerable."

There was considerable disagreement among CDC researchers as to the value of the data. "It's a show," said Tara Bright, a colleague of Kilgore, "You can't draw real statistics from a made-up show. It's just silly."

"It's not silly," countered Kilgore, "she's not looking at the down stream effects. The actors that play characters that wind up catching these diseases invariably lose their jobs within a season. Then they have trouble finding work because they become type-cast as 'that guy on E.R. that had Parkinson's'. No TV, no movies, and pretty soon they're depressed. Then it's downhill for them and their health."

While not everyone agrees there is a direct correlation between actors' health and the roles they play, there was enough data to support the issuance of the warning, say CDC insiders. "Better safe than sorry," said one.
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