BOULDER, CO - A landmark study conducted by Misti Roberts of the University of Colorado at Boulder shows that depression can be effectively treated by a technique she calls "Jean Therapy". "The whole jean experience," said Roberts, "shopping for them, trying them on, carrying them around in the crinkly bag, and wearing them, it all just makes you feel good."

According to her published report, Roberts assembled three groups of thirty people, all of whom said they were "usually or often depressed". The members of each group were of varying ages with each group averaging 25 years of age. One group was told to go out and buy one pair of jeans. The second group was told to buy three pairs. The third group was told to buy a pair of jeans for someone else, as a gift. Each group was told to spend at least three hours shopping, then to wear their new jeans during the next two weeks. The gift group held the jeans for two weeks, then gave them to the intended recipient.

The results were impressive. The first group showed an overall 10% improvement in mood. The second group enjoyed a 40% improvement in mood. As expected, the third group experienced no mood change at all. "Pretty well shuts down that 'better to give than receive' thing," said Roberts, "The group that 'received' is the one that was the happiest."

"I doubt two millennia of 'better to give than receive' are quite ready to be tossed out on the word of Miss Roberts' mall-rats," said Arthur Quind, head of Ecclesiastical Studies at Boulder. "I'm glad she was able to help some people feel better about themselves for a few weeks, but I think we need to keep our feet on the ground on this one."

It is perhaps telling that the American Journal of Psychology has declined to publish the results of her study.
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