TEXARKANA, TX - Ross Perot has made a new splash in the political scene with his characteristically eccentric idea to put the homeless to work as politicians. "It's better for everybody. The politicos in office now can hit the lecture circuit, and most of 'em are already rich to begin with. They just ride the tide of public opinion anyway, and I'm willing to bet your average homeless feller can do that, too," quipped Perot.

Estimates show there are 3.5 million homeless people in the United States. While there are no exact figures available, political positions are held by approximately 2 million people at various levels of government.

"This is clearly not a workable plan," said newly inaugurated governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger, "It ignores the drive for power and strength of will needed to excel to these positions of trust and authority. It's like giving every unemployed American a medical license and telling them to go be doctors. They cannot, because they haven't the training or the discipline."

"I'm not sayin' that everybody can do everything," responded Perot, "I'm just saying that everybody can do something. And being a politico doesn't take a whole lot of much of anything."

"Begging the failed former presidential candidate's pardon," said former president Bill Clinton, "but I would disagree."
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