The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
National 35 MPH Speed Limit Decried By AAA
(email to a friend)

HEATHROW, FL - The powerful voice of the American Automobile Association has been added to the thousands calling for the repeal of the newly instituted 35 mile-per-hour national speed limit. "A sweeping decision like this should be left in the hands of the states, not the federal government," said Monica Alexander, speaking for the AAA.

"The data speaks for itself," said Senator Randy Fens. He referred to a recent study by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety, concluding that higher driving speeds equate to higher numbers of fatalities. "I can't help but support this bill. My constituents may not all like it, but they are alive to complain about it."

The bill (S.235) is titled "Providing Relief to Hungry Families" and contains several provisions to help fund soup kitchens run by religious groups. The speed limit portion of the bill was added at the last minute, just prior to the vote. "I didn't realize the speed limit provision was in there. I wouldn't have voted for it had I known," said one senator that asked not to be named.

In order for the speed limit to be repealed, the entire bill has to be repealed, voiding the benefits slated for the hungry. "That can't be allowed to happen," responded Charlotte Light, Director of National Feed The Hungry, "we need those funds right now. We fought and lobbied to get them. That the bill was hijacked is not our fault. We can't wait another year for a whole new bill to get hammered out."

Several senators have said they will support a new bill that overrides the previous one while supporting the provisions made for the hungry. The president still has the opportunity to veto the current bill, but he is not expected to use the first veto of his administration on such a bipolar bill.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved