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"Finding Neon" - Californians Flush GloFish To Protest Ban
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SACRAMENTO, CA - State regulators inadvertently caused an environmental disaster by banning the sale of the first bio-engineered pet, the GloFish. The glowing genetically-modified zebra fish has become a weapon of protest as millions of the tiny fish are being smuggled into California and flushed down Sacramento sewers.

"This is a disaster! This is exactly the kind of thing a ban should have prevented," said Fish and Game Commissioner Sam Schuchat. The entire Sacramento/Bay Area now glows dimly green at the approach of twilight. The glow lasts for forty minutes, depending on the sun's daytime intensity, then fades quickly. Yorktown Technologies, the Texas-based distributor of GloFish, said that the fish pose no danger to the environment. "It is the equivalent of people flushing fireflies," said company President Alan Blake, "It might be strange, macabre, gross, and expensive, but it isn't dangerous." He quipped, "We did notice a larger-than-expected order from Nevada."

The California EPA will begin a study to determine if there is any harm to the environment from the glowing fish entering the water system. Even if the study shows that there is damage, Yorktown is in the clear, say legal experts. "The fish were obtained illegally," says Yorktown Attorney David O'Neal, "We didn't ship any fish to California, it would have been illegal to do so. We're not responsible for the abuse of our product."

"What about the poor fish," said Molly Ringwald, actress and animal-rights activist, "Won't someone please think of the fish?"
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