The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Google
    Web TheBentinel.com
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --
 

Home

FAQ

Links

Book (New!)

Archive

RSS feed for The Bentinel




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


Did you know?
"Finding Neon" - Californians Flush GloFish To Protest Ban
(email to a friend)

SACRAMENTO, CA - State regulators inadvertently caused an environmental disaster by banning the sale of the first bio-engineered pet, the GloFish. The glowing genetically-modified zebra fish has become a weapon of protest as millions of the tiny fish are being smuggled into California and flushed down Sacramento sewers.

"This is a disaster! This is exactly the kind of thing a ban should have prevented," said Fish and Game Commissioner Sam Schuchat. The entire Sacramento/Bay Area now glows dimly green at the approach of twilight. The glow lasts for forty minutes, depending on the sun's daytime intensity, then fades quickly. Yorktown Technologies, the Texas-based distributor of GloFish, said that the fish pose no danger to the environment. "It is the equivalent of people flushing fireflies," said company President Alan Blake, "It might be strange, macabre, gross, and expensive, but it isn't dangerous." He quipped, "We did notice a larger-than-expected order from Nevada."

The California EPA will begin a study to determine if there is any harm to the environment from the glowing fish entering the water system. Even if the study shows that there is damage, Yorktown is in the clear, say legal experts. "The fish were obtained illegally," says Yorktown Attorney David O'Neal, "We didn't ship any fish to California, it would have been illegal to do so. We're not responsible for the abuse of our product."

"What about the poor fish," said Molly Ringwald, actress and animal-rights activist, "Won't someone please think of the fish?"
(email to a friend)


TOP STORIES
   





Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than ZachsWorld.org! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (http://TheBentinel.com), All Rights Reserved