The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Google
    Web TheBentinel.com
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --
 

Home

FAQ

Links

Book (New!)

Archive

RSS feed for The Bentinel




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


Did you know?
Firm Cracking Down On Non-Smoking Workers Taking "Smoke Breaks"
(email to a friend)

DETROIT, MI - At Lefrebue and Associates, a short email from Senior Partner Carson Lefrebue has set off what is likely to be a lengthy debate over employees' rights. The email says in part, "It is unacceptable for employees to take 'smoke breaks' for purposes other than smoking. For our non-smoking associates, specific time is set aside for one morning and one evening break. Smokers, who require smoke breaks at unpredictable times, may take several short breaks in lieu of the scheduled breaks for the purpose of smoking." Lefrebue, himself a chain smoker, reportedly sent the missive after overhearing one worker comment to another, "I don't smoke. Jogging is my 'smoke break'."

"This, I don't get," said one Lefrebue employee who asked not to be named, "I mean, itís ok to go turn dried plants into carcinogens and suck them into my lungs, but my company doesn't want me to take a brisk walk?"

"My email has received perhaps more attention than it deserved," responded Lefrebue, "but the spirit is essentially a reasonable one. They are called 'smoke breaks' because smokers need to take them. We offer some special services to our associates that have other disabilities. Why discriminate against those that require regular inhalation of nicotine to be productive?" When asked why non-smoking associates couldn't take, for instance, "walk breaks", Lefrebue replied, "That's something we could investigate. That would be new policy, and we're open to new policy. My email was meant to clarify what our existing policy was. But that's a good idea."

"Maybe I should drop a note in the 'Suggestion box', eh?" said one employee after hearing Lefrebue's comments, "I'm sure THAT would change things around here."

"This is exactly the kind of high-handed, idiotic abuse that non-union employees can expect," said AFL-CIO representative Mike Klein. "If this was a union shop, that email would never have been issued. If any employees of Lefrebue would like to talk to me about ways to fight this, I would be happy to talk with them."
(email to a friend)


TOP STORIES
   





Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than ZachsWorld.org! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (http://TheBentinel.com), All Rights Reserved