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In Crete, January Is National Minotaur Month
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CRETE, NEBRASKA - In a few days, while the rest of America participates in National Mentor Month, the people of Crete will be celebrating something else entirely -- National Minotaur Month. "The forgotten Minotaur's time has finally come," said Judy Henning, Mayor of Crete, "This noble race of ignoble birth has captured the hearts of people worldwide. The love of a man, the strength of a bull, they represent all of what we would like to be." A twenty-foot tall wooden Minotaur graces the town's square in preparation for the event.

"Ms. Henning has a romantic vision of the Minotaur," said Greek historian Thomas Achile, "But it isn't quite in keeping with accepted mythology. Far from loving, the Minotaur was said to be a violent and destructive creature. Moreover, mythology holds that the creature was killed by Theseus. There was no 'race' of Minotaurs, there was one creature and it was destroyed."

"There's a little Minotaur in all of us," said Shar Sieck, Executive Director of the Crete Chamber of Commerce. "He was violent, but he was disadvantaged. Who of us has never been trapped by our race, or our size, or our knowledge? According to legend, the Minotaur was misunderstood from birth, locked away without trial, and ultimately slaughtered as he slept. By annually celebrating his life, we give him his first real opportunity to live."

Partially explaining the town's interest in mythology, Crete's tourist revenue is expected to increase by 30% over last year's Minotaur Month celebration. "It's a boon to our economy, no doubt about it," said Cletus Roundeke, owner of the Crete Fantasy and Comix Store. "I won't sell fifty of these all year," said Roundeke, holding a pewter image of what appears to be Arnold Schwarzenegger's torso on a fighting bull's body, "but I'll push 500 of them this month. Gamers, collectors, mythology folks, we get 'em from all over the world. Had a Japanese feller in here last year, bought fifty of these and had me ship 'em for him."

And what about National Mentor Month? "We have a very strong volunteerism ethic here in Crete," said Mayor Henning, "we don't need a special month to remember our young people. If we only mentored our youngsters one month a year, they'd ask what they'd done wrong!"

Crete's average high school graduation rate has been over 95% ten years running. Maybe there really is a little Minotaur in them.
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