The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
SARS Virus Traced To Hacker In Thailand
(email to a friend)

BANGKOK, Thailand - Authorities have arrested Papas Gagong, a twenty-year-old college student, who they believe started the SARS virus outbreak. "We became suspicious when we learned from WHO that the SARS DNA made frequent use of the sequence 'PAPAGAG'. Our previous experience with Mr. Gagong showed that he used the name 'PapaGag' in Internet chat rooms. Our suspicions were confirmed when we seized his computer," said Major General Pongsaphat Phongcharoen. The computer contained files showing the development phases of the virus. The version that matches the earliest-detected strands of SARS DNA were also present, labeled "Production 1.1".

"This is the first time we've seen someone manufacture and release a biological virus," said WHO representative Gregory Beasley. "It's actually quite a piece of ingenious work. But it's heinous in the extreme to imagine a person releasing something like this."

When confronted, Gagong admitted he had created the virus, but that its release had been accidental. This seems unlikely, however, in light of conversations he had with other hackers. Logs of IRC conversations found on his computer show a pattern of failure in writing computer viruses. "U got nuthn, dewd. Ur code iz lame, n so r u!" said ColdCoder, commenting on a virus template Gagong had created and uploaded. Ominously, another user said simply, "Don't bother with computer viruses, Man. You ain't got it. Do something else."

How his computer model made its way into the flesh-and-blood world is not yet known. The college he attends has a genetics lab and a gene sequencing device, but he did not have access to the equipment. "Besides," said one student, "the sequencer tells you what existing DNA says. It doesn't custom build DNA to your specs." Authorities close to the case have said that Gagong is keeping information to himself, presumably to use in negotiating a plea.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved