The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
125th Most Wanted Iraqi Captured
(email to a friend)

BAGHDAD, Iraq - U.S. forces in Ramadi have captured the 125th most wanted member of the former Baath Party. He is identified as Kharan Mogatur, a greeter at the former Baath Party shopping mall. He was apprehended at the mall, now called the Baghdad Mall, still serving as a greeter. "I am honest man," said Mogatur, "I work, I am paid. Yesterday, Saddam pay me. Today, Bremer pay me. What have I done?" Since he was recognized by U.S. troops without assistance from any Iraqis, no one will be able to claim the $75 bounty.

"It was just a lucky break that we were playing Pinochle last night," said a U.S. Special Forces member, "I saw the guy in the deck. He was one of the ten of clubs." He referred to the Double-Deck Pinochle Boxed Set that was released after most of the original deck had been apprehended. The 80 Baathists pictured on the cards are the new focus of the coalition investigation, now that the higher-ranking members are in custody.

"I have trouble keeping up my steam when it looks like we're rounding up a bunch a' nobody's," said another Special Forces member. "Look at these guys," he said, fanning a portion of the Pinochle deck. "Here's Al Un Dorum, former Baath Party cook. Here's a guy, they don't even have his name. Who doesn't look like him? And he was a gardener! Why are we after him?"

The State Department defends the new initiative. Their written response to our request for an interview said in part, "We are in the business of rounding up criminals. We aren't satisfied with just nailing the captains of crime. We want the first-mates. We want the helmsmen. We want everybody."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved