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White Stripes Release Single On Gramophone Foil
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DETROIT - White Stripes, the irreverent pair currently touring the UK, has announced the release of their new single 'There's No Home For You Here' exclusively on tin-foil sheets playable only on the Edison-era Gramophone. "We wanted to show the world that new is not necessarily better. Meg and I believe that getting back to our roots, back to the basics, is at the heart of rock and roll," said the lead half of the duo, Jack White.

News of the release has hit the music industry with an unceremonious thud. "They can't seriously believe that anyone will play it," said a Detroit DJ, "Even here, most stations are all digital. We have our legal copies, of course, but we never play them. We just dub into our database once and archive the CD. What am I gonna do with a Ho-Ho wrapper?"

"It's an intriguing social experiment," said University of Michigan's Professor of Music, Dr. John Constant, "Will I, as a devotee of music, find a way to play this piece? Or will I, as a lazy, compliant drone of The Corporate Machine, constantly demanding that I upgrade my life, dismiss it as 'old school'? While intriguing, I have to admit I think it is doomed."

Some music fans have vowed to listen to the music in the form the artist intended. "Whatever Jack and Meg like, I like. They totally rock. If I have to build my own gramo-whatzit, I'll do it," said one. Others seem unconcerned. Aimee, who preferred not to give her last name, said, "Somebody will figure out a way to play it, they'll rip it to an MP3 and it'll be on Kazaa by Friday. I can wait."
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