The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Dean Replaces Self With Bush Look-Alike
(email to a friend)

BURLINGTON, Vermont - With his front-runner status a fading memory, Howard Dean has made a bold move toward reestablishing his democratic presidential candidacy. In addition to replacing his campaign manager, he has replaced himself with professional George W. Bush impersonator, Brent Mendenhall. "There's a lot of wisdom in the saying, 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," quipped Dean, "and I think we have in Brent a person that can beat the real George Bush."

This sort of candidate swapping is unusual, but not without precedent. "In 1924, the Democratic party put Clem Longfootle forward as their contender against Calvin Coolidge. When it became clear that Longfootle's 'electability' was in question, his campaign replaced him with the more common-named John W. Davis," explained Political Scientist Rick Hardy, "While it didn't create the turn-around they'd hoped for, it did allow them to pull in almost 30% of the vote, better than double what Longfootle was predicted to garner."

Other candidates have been quick to spin the move in their favor. "What Howard Dean has done here is to say to the American people, 'I think you're too stupid to know the difference between my new mouthpiece and your current President.' If I were an American voter, I would be insulted," said John Kerry, quickly adding, "I am an American. And I vote. For Americans. Vote American!"

Dean's new campaign slogan, "You like it, you love it, you want some more of it!" will be the focus of his campaigning for primary votes in South Carolina and Missouri, accompanied by Tim McGraw's "I Like It, I Love It". Who would actually occupy the White House if the Dean/Mendenhall team wins remains to be clarified.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved