The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Madonna Site Hacked, Does Not Endorse Clark
(email to a friend)

BEVERLY HILLS, California - A spokesman for pop singer Madonna announced Monday that the "Material Girl" does not and has never endorsed General Wesley Clark for President. "The letter allegedly written by Madonna promoting General Clark was a forgery," he read from the release, "It was apparently placed on the site without Madonna's knowledge by an unknown party on or about January 5th. It will be coming down very soon. We regret any confusion caused by this malicious intrusion and wish all the candidates well." The full text of the press release is available at

"Well, it's a blow," said a disappointed Clark upon hearing the news, "but I have to admit that I questioned it from the beginning. I'm not really a Madonna fan, I thought it odd that she was such a fan of mine. It makes sense now."

The disappointment may be short-lived, however. A poll conducted shortly after the announcement shows that Clark enjoyed a healthy 11% bump in his numbers among women aged 20-40, possibly attributable to the un-endorsement.

"I wasn't comfortable with it," said one woman, "I wasn't sure I could vote for a man that Madonna thought was the right one. It was a big red flag for me. I've been a Kerry-girl, but I think I might just give Clark another look."

Rumors that the Clark camp is responsible for the original hacking abound, though no evidence has been gathered implicating anyone. Questions remain about why it has taken so long for Madonna and her staff to recognize the problem. Madonna's spokesman did not take questions and Madonna herself has not asked the FBI to investigate the alleged hacking.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved