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Gillette Raises Shaving Stakes With "Duodecetrix"
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WATERTON, Massachusetts - Gillette today answered the attack by Schick on its multi-blade market, leap-frogging the four-bladed Schick Quattro, to create the Duodecetrix, a twelve-bladed shaving system designed to shave the entire face cleanly in just four swipes.

"It's not just about cutting, it's about coverage," explained Gillette CEO James Kilts, "Today's metrosexual man is out to get a Kyan Douglas shave in a New York minute. With a shaver that has only -- to pick a number at random -- four blades, you're looking at several minutes of grooming time. When you triple that number, now your getting a close, smooth, efficient shave, and you're getting on with your fast-paced life."

"Has it gone too far? I think we can say it has," said consumer advocate David Horowitz, "How many consumer dollars are going toward research and development to produce objects that are utterly meaningless to us? Twelve blades? It won't fit in your current shaving storage area. You need to relearn how to shave. Relearn! All of our tests have shown that no 'shaving system' beats a single disposable blade in skilled hands. They're selling you on 'more', and we all should know by now that more isn't always better. We need to vote this one down, vote with your dollars."

Patrick Mulcahy, CEO of Energizer, parent company of Schick was characteristically unfazed, "I'm not playing some sort of game with Jimmy on this. We make a quality grooming product, and to be fair, so do they. Do I think we need to introduce a thirteen blade system? No, I don't think that's going to happen. We'll put Quattro up against anything they offer, we'll both do fine, I'm sure."

The Duodecetrix is expected to hit retail shelves as early as March 1st. Suggested retail price is $13.95, with a replacement pack of two blades going for $9.95.
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