MADISON, Wisconsin - Democratic leaders are scrambling this morning to decide how to handle the monumental results from Tuesday's primary. Using discounted Internet voting software from start-up KerrySoft, Wisconsin has registered six million votes in the Democratic primary, more than six times the 985,000 registered Democrats in the state.

"All the votes were legitimate," said KerrySoft representative Brendon Cahill, "The last census was in 2000. Maybe some people moved in, or something. I don't know. But the system won't record a vote unless it's legitimate."

Critics point out that Senator John Kerry received over five million of the votes and question if there is a connection between the Senator and the voting software company. "My nephew is one of the most upright and principled people I know," said Kerry's campaign manager, Mary Beth Cahill, "It is outrageous to think Brendon would be involved in anything untoward." Kerry agreed, "It is unfortunate that when candidates find the people are not behind them, they begin to blame everything else but themselves. It's sad, really."

Howard Dean -- who earlier referred to Wisconsin as a "must-win" state -- demanded a recount. The voting software was instructed to redisplay the results, which it did. A third display was called for by John Edwards, but the results were again the same.

"We're going to investigate it," said Donna Meier, clerk for the Board of Elections, "It is a suspiciously large number of votes. We don't have that many voters. In fact, I don't think we even have that many people."
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