The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Google
    Web TheBentinel.com
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --
 

Home

FAQ

Links

Book (New!)

Archive

RSS feed for The Bentinel




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


Did you know?
Powell: Haiti "Unattractive" As Invasion Target
(email to a friend)

WASHINGTON - Speaking to critics of the Bush administration's hands-off policy toward the potential crisis of refugees and violence in Haiti, Secretary of State Colin Powell called Haiti an "unattractive target" for invasion by coalition forces. Pointing to a map of the western hemisphere, he said, "As you can see, this is a country right off our border. A good wreck at Daytona could throw an axle into Haiti. If things heat up, we don't want that kind of proximity."

Others in the White House were more frank. "America has been viewed as the world's Policeman, but it just isn't so," said National Security Advisor Condoleeza Rice. "We step in to protect our own interests, which can easily be mistaken for 'seeking justice'. Look at Iraq," she said, ticking off with her fingers, "You've got oil. You've got placement in the Arab community. You've got thousands-year-old culture. And let's face it, you've got one ugly dictator that nobody likes. That's an invasion waiting to happen. But Haiti? What's it got, coffee? We'll invade Starbucks when our thermos runs dry."

Some analysts outside of the administration think there is more to the picture than what the United States can get out of it. "You can't make all your decisions from a balance sheet," said Bert Lance, former political advisor to Jimmy Carter, "The Haiti situation is heating up. And when the massacres are over, who's getting the blame? The Haitians? Not likely. The world is going to want to know where the U.S. was while a neighbor they could see over their back fence was burning his own house down."

During a press conference on Bush's military career, a reporter for the Sentinel asked about plans for Haiti. White House spokesman Scott McClellan responded, "Do they have Nukes? Biologicals? Chemicals? Our intelligence says no. Until we have a reason to go in, we're going to just wait and see."
(email to a friend)


TOP STORIES
   





Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than ZachsWorld.org! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (http://TheBentinel.com), All Rights Reserved