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Mensa Mistakenly Makes Moron Member
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ARLINGTON, Texas - An embarrassed Mensa chairman announced Monday that an 'unintentional computational deviation' was responsible for a local chapter inducting Clem "Clubby" Clubunkle as a member. "Circumstances behoove us to enunciate our profoundest apologies to Mr. Clubunkle," explained chairman Lonnie Knight. After the announcement, Clubunkle asked, "So, does 'behoove' mean I'm in?"

While most Mensa chapters use the scoring system software provided by Mensa International, the local Arlington chapter uses an in-house system developed in Microsoft Excel. To qualify, a prospective member must test in the top 2% of the population. The error came from a final calculation that rejects those in the 1% - 98% range. "Mr. Clubunkle scored at point-five percent (.5%), the lowest score we have ever seen. Not only did he get none of the questions right, but he misspelled his name, filled out the test in green crayon, and sent his test results to us postage-due," explained Knight. But since .5% was outside of the 1-98 range, the local chapter's spreadsheet initially marked his application as "Accepted". Only after it was sent to the International Mensa Headquarters for verification was the error discovered. "Of course, Mr. Clubunkle's fees will be refunded post-haste," added Knight.

"Well, it ain't the first test I bunked up, that's for awful sure," said a smiling Clubunkle, "And I say, 'Clubby, why don't you jest try 'er again?' And you know, I think I jest might."
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