BAGHDAD, Iraq - The U.S.-appointed Iraqi Governing Council met Friday to sign the interim constitution meant to govern the country until it can elect a legislative assembly to draft a permanent document. But many members were put off by the label on the shrink-wrapped document stating that by breaking the shrink-wrap they would be bound by the contents. "We have seen drafts, but we are unable to see the contents of the package," said council member Ahmad Chalabi, "How can we confidently sign the document when we cannot even confidently open its packaging?"

"It's a standard document, right out of Microsoft Government," responded L. Paul Bremer, "It’s not like this was Government97, either. We're using Enterprise Government 2003, which I'm told is Gov.NET compatible. There should be no problem signing off on this baby."

The license agreement for the Government 2003 software package states that all documents produced by the package "must be sealed with the Terms And Conditions Rider Label" and official acceptance of any such document "must not take place without breaking said seal." Microsoft officials stated that this arrangement is for the protection of the government to which the document applies. "We see it as the ribbon-cutting ceremony," said Alan Dukaman, Microsoft Product Consultant, "The first official step toward acceptance of their new constitution."

Baghdad residents are outraged that their new government is already experiencing red-tape roadblocks. Said local entrepreneur Jinan Kirwi, "Under Saddam, we could only apply for business licenses in months that started with 'M'. That was very bad. But now we are finding ourselves under the thumb of your Bill Gates. When does the tyranny end?"

"Just tear the stupid label and get on with it," said President Bush, "Sheesh, you'd think they'd never ignored Terms and Conditions before."
(email to a friend)