The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Google
    Web TheBentinel.com
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --
 

Home

FAQ

Links

Book (New!)

Archive

RSS feed for The Bentinel




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


Did you know?
Music Industry Rocked By Crosby Drug Possession Charges
(email to a friend)

NEW YORK, New York - The music industry is reeling this morning from the news that musician David Crosby, a founding member of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, has been charged with drug possession. "This is the kind of thing that makes us all look bad," said shock-rocker Marilyn Manson, "People hear about one artist turning to substance abuse, and suddenly it's assumed we all have a problem."

"Oh sure, everybody talks about it, but who would actually use the stuff?" asked Paul Simon, singer, song writer, and famous half of Simon & Garfunkel. "I know you've heard about Art's unfortunate cock-up, but I can assure you he was holding that for someone else and didn't know what it was. He's never even seen the stuff, he probably thought it was Tarragon or something."

Not everyone in the industry is so sure the problem is an isolated one. "I know I've been offered drugs before," admitted pop-diva Britney Spears, "but I just say 'No'. And it's not like it happens all the time. Most people like a Zima now and then, but that's about as hard as it gets. But I'm not blind, I know there are people out there with a problem."

Also skeptical is Bob Denver, television's Gilligan of Gilligan's Island. Denver himself was indicted for possession of marijuana in 1998. "There are drugs out there for the folks who want them," said Denver, "They're not proud of it, but they're there. I'm straight now, clean since my arrest. And I don't hang with that crowd anymore. But believe me, no matter what anybody claims, they're still there."

"We're talking to Mr. Crosby," said New York City police detective Byron Limekiller, "If there are any other rock stars abusing drugs, we'll be sure to get to the bottom of it."
(email to a friend)


TOP STORIES
   





Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than ZachsWorld.org! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (http://TheBentinel.com), All Rights Reserved