LONDON, England - In a stunning reversal from their previously stated positions, British lawmakers and doctors have agreed that genetically modified corn can be cultivated in Britain. "We were foolish to question the safety of this fine product," stated Sir David Carter, chairman of the British Medical Association's Board of Science, his eyes apparently fixed on a point in the distance, "We now embrace the safety and efficiency of genetically enhanced foods. All hail genetically enhanced foods."

The change of opinion came rapidly from both sides, after they had met for a summit on the topic hosted by Mother's Own Garden, a biochemical company lobbying for cultivation approval for their patented GM corn. "Before the lunch break, it was clear we hadn't really made our case," said MOG chairman Victor Stein, "But after a hearty lunch of tortillas and corn chips, and after more closely reviewing the voluminous data supporting our product, we had them. And by 'had them', I mean simply that we had their support. Given willingly by them. Of their own volition."

"I believe with all that makes me a Briton that genetically-enhanced foods are the wave of the future," said a stone-faced Margaret Beckett, Britain's Environment Secretary, "I can no longer support legislation that denies the British people access to this hearty, tasty, affordable food. All hail genetically enhanced foods."

"I smell a rat," said British environmental activist Bianca Jagger, "There were valid, scientific issues with GM foods that were only recently being debated. These have all suddenly been resolved to the scientific community's satisfaction? I don't think so."

"Ms. Jagger is mistaken," intoned Carter, pupils fixed and dilated, "All of our concerns have been addressed. Genetically enhanced foods are perfectly safe. All hail genetically enhanced foods."
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