The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Google
    Web TheBentinel.com
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --
 

Home

FAQ

Links

Book (New!)

Archive

RSS feed for The Bentinel




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


Did you know?
Kerry Supporters Tensely Await Florida Recount
(email to a friend)

BAY COUNTY, Florida - Election officials were asking workers to work overtime long into the night Tuesday to quickly settle primary vote-counting irregularities. Shadows of the 2000 election hung over the workers as they meticulously re-scanned all the ballots. "We all know the importance of this process," said election supervisor Mark Andersen, "We know the country is counting on us to get this right."

All 20,000 ballots cast are being recounted, which means Kerry's assumed Florida victory with 77% of the vote could actually be as low as 76.6%.

"We're on pins and needles," said Emma Splank, president of Retirees In Favor Of Kerry, "RIF-OK thought we had that 77% all tied up, but now all that's up in the air."

"It seems a shame to spend all that overtime money on this," argued Homer Glasgow, a sheet-metal worker with All Steel Lines, "Who cares if he won by 77% or 76%? They should put me in charge over there, I could find something better to do with all that money."

Bay County voters, though, see it as a worthwhile effort. "When history asks, 'How many people supported John Kerry for the 2004 Democratic presidential primary in Bay County, Florida?' I think we need to be able to give a definitive answer," insisted Mark Polen, Democratic voter and denture-wearer.

"It's about disenfranchisement," said a representative for Al Sharpton, "Do you want to be the one to tell those voters that their votes don't count one way or the other? I don't."
(email to a friend)


TOP STORIES
   




If you would like to see your site on The Bentinel, click here!. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Have you wondered where you could find online casino reviews? Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Here's the place to go for a california criminal defense attorney. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. If you suffer from Panic Attacks, this site might help. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (http://TheBentinel.com), All Rights Reserved