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Pay-Per-View: "Last Man Standing" Battle For Control Of South Korea
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SEOUL, South Korea - Vowing to reclaim his title, President Roh "Little Giant" Moo-hyun has challenged South Korea's Prime Minister Koh "The Contender" Gun to a winner-take-all grudge match for control of the country. "He has insulted me, he has humiliated me, he has tried to take all that is mine. But it IS mine. And I will not allow it to be taken," sneered Roh. The match will be aired Tuesday night on pay-per-view.

"He's been parading around parliament like a proud peacock. King of his domain. I will dethrone him," growled Koh Gun. The fight promises to be one of the most spectacular on the floor of the South Korean parliament in recent history.

South Koreans themselves seem uncomfortable with their elected president being potentially unseated over a fistfight. "It is a disgrace. For my country, in the international community. And for myself. I am ashamed at what is happening," said a Korean businessman that refused to give his name. "We are an honorable people, but there is no honor in this. And I have been told that the fighting is not even real."

"Not real, eh?" responded Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, WWF wrestler and actor, "Well, I guess there are some aspects to the sport that are not quite on the up and up. The blood's usually real, but we cut ourselves to get it. The chairs are real and they hurt. That's why I like acting. The money's better, and no chairs." His eyes becoming steely, he added, "I would wrestle either of those Korean wimps. I'll take 'em both at once. Let me run that country and I'll show you how to handle your North Korea problem."

WWF Chairman Vincent K. McMahon has sent up red flags over the match. "The use of our registered marks in any political or commercial venture by any country will not be tolerated," he said in a statement, "We will defend vigorously our exclusive rights to the terms 'grudge match', 'dethrone', and 'humiliation'. We respect the rights of sovereign nations to settle matters within their borders, but not to the dilution of our registered trademarks." South Korean officials have not responded to the legal threat.
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