WASHINGTON - Raising the ire of environmentalists and conservationists in the U.S. and abroad, the Bush administration has opened up new areas for commercial logging. "By opening privately held land to logging, we open new vistas of opportunity for industry, and create new jobs to ease the pain of American families struggling to pay their bills," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan.

"We're very excited to be able to harvest these unutilized materials for the betterment of all citizens," said Bernie Baker, of Bernie Baker Logging, "Right in my own neighborhood I see seven or eight good, strong oaks that I'll be taking down."

"I'm running my campaign on job creation," said Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry, "But I can't see creating jobs at the expense of trees and small forests on private property. At the very least," he added, "I think the land owners should have a say in what is taken out."

Many citizens agree with Kerry. "You mean, any logging company can just go to the Forestry Service, get a permit, then come cut down trees on my property?" asked one enraged man, "I'd like to see them try it."

It is certain that the greatest sticking point in the new rules is the right granted to logging companies to cut down trees on private property without the owner's permission. "I'm frankly shocked that this passed the smell test," said property rights expert Wayne Hage, "Of course the first time any company actually tries to carry through with it, it will be overturned. The government can't seize a citizen's property in this way."

"With all respect to Mr. Hage, he needs to re-read the Constitution," said constitutional law professor Mark Hurwitz, "The fifth amendment protects citizens from seizure of property for public use without compensation or due process, but it does not address such seizures for use by private companies. If a company wishes to -- with the backing of the White House -- seize private property for commercial use, they are well within their constitutional rights to do so."

"Clearly, somebody's asleep at the wheel, here," said Hage, "And I stand by my prediction that this new rule will not stand."
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