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Declassified Video Reveals Aqualad's al-Qaeda Warning
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WASHINGTON - The White House declassified and released tapes and transcripts this weekend, showing that at least one superhero recognized an immediate and growing threat from al-Qaeda. "Mr. President, I am Aqualad," the transcript read, "I feel a responsibility to share knowledge I have gained from discussions with the intelligent life under the oceans." He went on to describe overheard Arabic conversations that pointed clearly to bin Laden's interest in attacking within the borders of the United States in 2001 or 2002.

A full two years before Aqualad's first appearance on the action cartoon Teen Titans, the character -- voiced by Wil Wheaton -- recorded a video memo to be delivered to the president. Citing increased undersea chatter, he stressed the need for immediate action to avoid what he termed "a catastrophe of tsunami proportions".

"The President didn't ignore any of the intelligence provide to him by members of the superhero community," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan, "But like so many other bits of information available in the days and months leading up to September 11th, the warnings contained no actionable intelligence. We have dolphins describing destruction and whales warning of woe, but what can we really do with that information?"

"Aqualad's believable," said Robin -- voiced by Scott Menville -- in a rare telephone interview from The Tower, "If he says the information is solid, then I buy that it is. If he told me my team was in danger, you can bet I wouldn't ignore the warning."

John Kerry's campaign was quick to jump on the tape and transcript as proof of a failure to act by President Bush. "What we see developing," said Kerry in a Maryland campaign speech, "Is a picture of an administration that ignores its heroes. In a Kerry White House, there will be regular meetings with the members of the superhero community. Let it be known now that if Robbie, Ramen, Cybot, Beast Lad, Stair Climber, or Aquaboy has anything to say to me, I'm all ears."

"Yeah, um, no comment," responded Aqualad.
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