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Martin "Deeply Hurt" That Truce Not Offered To Canada
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OTTAWA, Canada - Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin expressed great concern that Canada was not among the nations extended a truce offer by Osama bin Laden. "Canada has been against the war in Iraq from the outset," said a confused Martin, "It seems only fair that Mr. Bin Laden would have seen fit to include Her Majesty's remaining North American Colony in any olive branch offering."

"I would truly love to include all infidels in this limited time offer," explained bin Laden via satellite phone interview, "But at this time there is great pressure to bring peace among those on the near side of the pond. I assure Mr. Martin that if he and his citizens will be patient and await the joining of the European world to my fold, there will be room for him and his populace as well. In due time."

President Bush was obviously displeased with Prime Minister Martin's position. "The great and sovereign nation of Canada is certainly within its right to do any fool thing it wishes," explained the President, "But any country that thinks it can dance with the Devil and not wind up with a few Mad Cow scares to show for it is sorely mistaken." White House spokesman Scott McClellan explained that the President was not intending to threaten the Prime Minister, but was "simply clarifying our position vis--vis the war on terror."

"Well, it's not so much that we would have accepted the truce," said Martin, sheepishly, "It just would have been nice to have been included."
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