WASHINGTON - White House Spokesman Scott McClellan angrily assailed the press this morning after yet another scowling picture of National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice was published by the Associated Press and syndicated around the world. "Dr. Rice is a kind woman, a happy woman, who has dedicated her life to public service. She has a tough job during tough times, and if you try hard enough, you can probably snap a picture a day of her in less than top form. But can't you just TRY to take a few pictures of her smiling?" He brought handouts to the press conference containing what were purported to be undoctored images of Rice smiling.

"She needs to get herself a husband, that's what she needs," said Washington area Wal-Mart shopper, Emma Jean Molemut, "Then she wouldn't be all sour all the time."

"Dr. Rice is not sour all the time," responded McClellan, "That is exactly my point! You people have made it appear that way by publishing all these unflattering pictures!"

"Condi served my father under his administration, and it has been my great privilege to have her on my own staff," said President Bush, "And I can tell you that professionally and personally, you won't meet a sweeter, kinder, happier individual. But I have to admit," he added, "I haven't seen too many pictures of her smiling. I guess she's going through a slump. Probably needs to get herself a man."
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