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Guantanamo Detainees Complain Of Humane, Dignified Treatment
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GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba - In a never-before-allowed interview with accused enemy combatants being held by the U.S. at Camp X-Ray, detainees revealed disturbing details of their treatment. "We are fed well, we bathe daily, and we are given gilt-edged Qurans," complained one, "Gilt-edging! Can you even imagine how hard it is to get a good martyrdom going with four-star treatment like this?" When shown photos of the treatment of Iraqi prisoners, one prisoner lamented, "Now that's persecution. That brother will see paradise. What will become of us?"

"It's not all Qurans and whipped cream."
-- Terry Carrico, Camp X-Ray chief
"It's not all Qurans and whipped cream," objected Terry Carrico, chief military police officer in charge of Camp X-Ray, "The guys getting the good treatment are getting it because they earned it. They told what they knew, they told us who else to talk to, what questions to ask. Do you think they all got gilt edging? Not hardly."

After the prisoner interviews, President Bush demanded an explanation from Secretary of State Rumsfeld of the disparity between treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo and in Iraq, notably the Abu Ghraib prison. "I have assured the president that we are looking into the matter," explained Rumsfeld, "We will see to it that each and every prisoner under the watchcare of the United States military is treated the same." When asked what exactly he meant by 'treated the same', Rumsfeld replied, "We will be giving all prisoners exactly what they deserve."

It is unclear whether the detainees in Guantanamo can expect more persecution, but experts say it is likely. "I think they can rest assured that there's plenty of it to go around," said human behavior expert Judith Montgomery, "It's the classic guard/prisoner scenario. The less oversight there is, the more abuses there will be. It's inevitable."
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