The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Guantanamo Detainees Complain Of Humane, Dignified Treatment
(email to a friend)

GUANTANAMO BAY, Cuba - In a never-before-allowed interview with accused enemy combatants being held by the U.S. at Camp X-Ray, detainees revealed disturbing details of their treatment. "We are fed well, we bathe daily, and we are given gilt-edged Qurans," complained one, "Gilt-edging! Can you even imagine how hard it is to get a good martyrdom going with four-star treatment like this?" When shown photos of the treatment of Iraqi prisoners, one prisoner lamented, "Now that's persecution. That brother will see paradise. What will become of us?"

"It's not all Qurans and whipped cream."
-- Terry Carrico, Camp X-Ray chief
"It's not all Qurans and whipped cream," objected Terry Carrico, chief military police officer in charge of Camp X-Ray, "The guys getting the good treatment are getting it because they earned it. They told what they knew, they told us who else to talk to, what questions to ask. Do you think they all got gilt edging? Not hardly."

After the prisoner interviews, President Bush demanded an explanation from Secretary of State Rumsfeld of the disparity between treatment of prisoners at Guantanamo and in Iraq, notably the Abu Ghraib prison. "I have assured the president that we are looking into the matter," explained Rumsfeld, "We will see to it that each and every prisoner under the watchcare of the United States military is treated the same." When asked what exactly he meant by 'treated the same', Rumsfeld replied, "We will be giving all prisoners exactly what they deserve."

It is unclear whether the detainees in Guantanamo can expect more persecution, but experts say it is likely. "I think they can rest assured that there's plenty of it to go around," said human behavior expert Judith Montgomery, "It's the classic guard/prisoner scenario. The less oversight there is, the more abuses there will be. It's inevitable."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved