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Doctor Tells Jessica Simpson She's Going To Die
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LOS ANGELES, California - Jessica Simpson publicly revealed Tuesday what she had previously told only her relatives and closest friends. At a press conference held near her home in Los Angeles, a tearful Simpson supported by her husband announced, "My doctor informed me a few weeks ago that I am going to die. As you can imagine, this is a time when I want to collect my thoughts, identify with myself, and be with my family. I ask that the media and the public respect my right to privacy and give me this time. When I am ready to talk about it publicly, I will." Husband Nick Lachey quickly escorted her from the stage and into a waiting limousine. She did not take questions.

"I'll hang in there as long as she will."
-- Simpson's agent
"I think Ms. Simpson may have mistaken my little speech for bad news," suggested Dr. Phil Rothgers, Simpson's physician, "I was trying to convince her that she needed to eat better, more healthy foods. I said, 'You've got 60, maybe 70 years to live,' and I told her to make them happy, healthy years. Maybe I laid it on a little too thick. She seemed sort of distant as she left my office, but then that's Jessica, you know?"

Simpson fans held a candlelight vigil outside her mansion Tuesday night, holding signs saying, "We'll Never Forget You" and "Save Jessica". When it was pointed out that she would be in her 80's or 90's when she dies, one fan commented, "The point is that she's going to die! Don't you get it?" Another, holding a candle burning from both ends, said, "Well, if you've got to go, the 80's was a good decade to go in."

"Jessica's a handful," admitted her agent, "But she's a fighter. I'll hang in there as long as she will."
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