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Calf-Lifting Club Finds "Cows Are Much Heavier"
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GRAY SQUIRREL, Kentucky - A group of teenage boys, all members of their school's chapter of Future Farmers of America, have found that it is increasingly difficult to remain in their exclusive calf-lifting club. "We was sitting around after the soil-judgin' contest one day," explained club president Robbie Stokes, "And I says to Jimmy, 'I bet you can't lift that calf there over your'un head' and he says, 'I betcha I can' and so he did. And so did I. And we all sorta knew we had something here." Membership in the club hinges on the member's ability to lift the calf four feet off the ground. "When she was a month old, shoot, we could toss her around. But turns out, cows are much heavier."

"These boys got in over their head."
-- Tom Hornsby, P.E. teacher
A calf gains one to two pounds a day, on average, according to the FFA web site. This means that the forty-pound calf originally lifted by club members now weighs approximately one hundred thirty pounds. She will weigh over four hundred pounds when fully mature. "These boys got in over their head, that's for sure," said Gray Squirrel High School Physical Education teacher, Mr. Tom Hornsby, "A good weight training program can have you lifting maybe twenty pounds more every month or two, but even that will plateau at some point. A point well below four hundred pounds for most people. The calf grew faster than they did, they never had a chance."

"My Pa-paw always told me, 'Boy, if you could lift a calf every day of its life, you'd be strong as an ox,'" recalled Stokes, "I guess he didn't actually do it. Come think of it, there was lots a stuff Pa-paw told me that turned out not to be so useful. I gotta think about it."

FFA officials said that they support physical fitness, but "we prefer our members pursue a fitness regime that prepares them for real-life needs, such as hay-baling, tractor-lifting, row-hoeing, and the like. Lifting a several-months old calf is more likely to prove damaging than helpful."
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