The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Greenspan Finds His "Decision Coin" Is Two-Headed
(email to a friend)

WASHINGTON - Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan told reporters Thursday that he is unsure of the value of his recent decisions in light of finding his so-called "decision coin" to be two-headed. "It is extremely disquieting to me, personally," admitted the chairman, "Since I base most of my decisions -- personal and public -- on the flip of my 'decision coin'. How and when the original has become switched with this one, I can't say. I am pleased to announce, however, that I have replaced it with a fresh coin, in time for the next Fed meeting." Greenspan held up a Canadian two-dollar coin, popularly known as the 'toonie'.

"Would you care to place bets on who slipped him the two-headed coin?"
-- Senator Joseph Lieberman
"He says it's 'disquieting', I say it's outrageous," said Senator Joseph Lieberman, "Our president has asked this man to manage our country's financial stability for another four years, and we find out he's been doing it with a coin flip? Considering that President Bush has gained significant public goodwill from the decisions Mr. Greenspan has made, would you care to place bets on who slipped him the two-headed coin?"

The FBI has been asked to investigate the case. A special FBI profiler, Agent Dan Mully, explained, "Profiling is not an exact science, of course. But we have determined that the individual that switched the coins is between fifty and sixty years old, male, probably from Texas or Connecticut. He may own or have once owned a baseball team. He's married, probably to a former teacher or librarian. If he has a cat, it's probably named after a country. Perhaps Pakistan or India. We'll know more when we've had some more time."

President Bush has promised that a full report of the investigation will be made available by December, no later than January.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved