The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Bob the Builder, Wendy, to Wed
(email to a friend)

BRIXWOOD - Bob the Builder, home-building and renovating animated character and namesake of Nick Jr.'s highly successful children's show, has announced his engagement to Wendy, his co-star. "We've been working together for five years," explained Bob, "I guess it just seemed like the right time to build an 'addition' onto our relationship."

"'Oh Bob, you're so talented,' she'd say. Sheesh, give it a rest."
-- Squidward, of SpongeBob SquarePants
"Bob's so sweet, and a snappy dresser," said Wendy, giddily, "He's everything I ever wanted. I dated Bob Vila for a few months, but it never felt 'right', ya know? I think there was the age difference, our shows that left us on opposite coasts so often, and of course the cartoon/living person gap. It was all too much. But my new Bob, he's really the bee's banana."

"Oh sure, we've all seen it coming," said Squidward, of SpongeBob SquarePants, "They were always flirting and hanging all over each other. 'Oh Bob, you're so talented,' she'd say. Sheesh, give it a rest, I thought, but hey, whatever. I offered to play my clarinet at the wedding, but they haven't gotten back to me yet."

Not everyone thinks the wedding is a good idea, particularly among residents of Brixwood. "I guess you could say I'm not really 'up' with the idea," joked Lofty, "I wish them the best and happiness and all that, but how often do Hollywood marriages last more than a year or two? We've had a good run here, and the kid gig is always good for a decade or more. Look at Sesame Street! Ya think we're gonna go multi-generation like that? Not if these two lovebirds pull a Bennifer, we're not."

Exclusive rights to photograph the wedding and private reception have been sold to Nickelodeon magazine for an undisclosed sum.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved