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Iraqi Insurgents Cry Foul Over Early Handover
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FALLUJAH, Iraq - Terror groups in this city and all over Iraq are expressing their disappointment and outrage at the early handover of sovereignty to the government of Iraq by the coalition. "We have positioned people, expended resources, made specific plans based on the June 30th date. We acted in good faith, and we expected our enemies to do so as well," said one man calling himself Anwabi, "If the new government can't be expected to keep its own schedules, how effective can it really be?" While attacks can still be carried out, "they will not have the same 'punch' as an attack coordinated with the handover would have had," explained another anonymous terrorist.

"I guess we didn't keep them in the loop on this one, did we?"
-- Paul Bremer, former Iraq administrator
"Sorry to have disappointed them," said former civilian administrator Paul Bremer, wryly, "I guess we didn't keep them in the loop on this one, did we?" The secrecy surrounding the actual date and place the handover would occur was astounding in a country known to run more on rumor than on news. "We weren't sure it would come off as cleanly as it did," admitted one Iraqi government official, "But it was a glowing success. I would have enjoyed watching their faces as they saw their keynote event unfolding on television without a single attack. Now that's counter-terrorism!"

"Yes, the invaders and the collaborators have had their fun at our expense," admitted one insurgent, "But these events have anniversaries. Will that date also be kept secret from year to year? Will the new government meet secretly? I think we will find opportunities are not so high on the vine that we cannot pluck them."

Experts agree that attacks will continue, especially since the video of Bremer sticking out his tongue and announcing, "Neener, neener!" has been broadcast on Arabic television. "When you bother to genuinely get into the heads of these guys, you realize that they won't take a 'neener, neener' without hitting back with a response."
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