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Terror Alert Level Raised for Left-Handed Fishmongers in Maine
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WASHINGTON, D.C. - U.S. Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge announced Sunday that the threat level along the coast of Maine has been raised from yellow (elevated) to orange (high). Ridge said the localized change was based on "recent threat reports of a new plan in the works" targeting left-handed fishmongers.

"Our mandate is to pass along whatever we get."
-- Leign Roofapple, DHS Spokesperson
"We are activating additional surveillance in specific parts of the state -- keeping a close eye on anything out of the ordinary," said Governor John Elias Baldacci, "DHS is just sharing what information there is. The lefties of this state, particular those that support our fish markets, can rest assured that they are in good hands."

While sources have not revealed any specific attack time frames, the threats do appear to be beyond the planning stages. "The chatter suggests an attack is ready, though it would be premature to call it imminent," explained DHS spokesperson Leign Roofapple, "We just want citizens to remain vigilant."

Since 9/11, "chatter" – or the various forms of communication monitored by the government – has taken on added significance, particularly in view of the clues to the 2001 attacks that were missed or ignored. "Our mandate is to pass along whatever we get," explained Roofapple, "We'll have to let the terrorists show us if we defended the right targets. There's a chance that they know we're monitoring them, and so it's possible they'll throw us a few false leads, but we don't think it's likely."
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