The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
'McEnroe' a Hit with 65-80 Jewish Female NASCAR Fans
(email to a friend)

NEW YORK - CNBC reports that its latest talk show offering 'McEnroe' is not the flagging failure that the ratings would suggest. "We -- like our competitors -- have taken more of a boutique approach to programming," explained CNBC Senior VP Bob Meyers, "This particular show is targeted to the elderly Jewish female who also enjoys NASCAR, the so-called 'NASCAR Gram-mulke' market." While overall ratings have been 0.0 to 0.3 since the show's launch, "Our reach into our target market has approached 14%, a very impressive figure."

"We're targeting the so-called 'NASCAR Gram-mulke' market."
-- CNBC Senior VP Bob Meyers
John McEnroe, a tennis star known for his aggressive even offensive personality, hosts the show bearing his name. Guests have included popular unknowns such as Tommy Davidson, Kurt Bush, Will Arnett and Yo La Tengo. "When Johnny Carson started the Tonight Show," said McEnroe, "He didn't pull in the heavy-weights, either. But look at him now!" In point of fact, The Tonight Show was originally hosted by Steve Allen. Johnny Carson, the third host of the show, has since retired.

"The show was a mistake from the start," said TV critic Harvey Bangwahler, "There's a foolish theory in entertainment that says if you're famous, you can also act, talk, sing, dance, and do anything else that might make the studios a buck. Before he had his own show, every word that tumbled out of John's mouth got him in trouble. Why would anyone imagine that would change?" Andrea Plummer, critic for the Boston Emerald, agrees, "If CNBC thought the show was any good, would that have felt the need to promote it so strongly? They were hoping the hype would carry them for a few weeks, like that '4400' show a few months ago. Everyone saw the pilot, but nobody's following the series. The only difference here, of course, is no one saw the pilot, either."

CNBC is not prepared to give up on the show just yet. "We have a lot of competition right now. We're going to go to repeats during the Olympic 'Hungry, Hungry Hippos' event, since our market and theirs so clearly overlap. But we're going to come back swinging in a few weeks," vowed Meyers, "Watch for it!"
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved