The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know? to File for Bankruptcy Protection
(email to a friend)

DOVER, Delaware - "I can't believe it's really over." With those tearful words, founder Brandon "Zip" Marconi, closed the press conference announcing the immediate closing of the corporate office and the company's intention to file for chapter 7 bankruptcy protection. "It's come as a shock to all of us," said Elizabeth Marconi, financial advisor to the company, "We all thought Brandon was doing quite well. And the kids all liked having their bikes 'tricked out' as they say."

Built on the model of, sought to become the north eastern United States primary source for connecting advertisers with bicycle owners, according to a company flyer found stapled to a telephone pole down the street from Marconi's residence. At no cost to the bike owner, Marconi outfitted the bike with signage advertising such products as Coca-Cola, Spree, and the Xbox, as well as various local bands. "I never saw a check from him," said one customer, "But I didn't care. He did a sweet job on the Xbox graphics, it looks great. If he was getting paid, I guess I shoulda been paid, too. We ride the same bus to school, but I still just never bugged him about it."

Brandon refused our requests for an interview. Microsoft, Coca-Cola, and the garage bands we spoke to all denied any connection to BikeWraps. "Zip's cool," said Spyke, drummer and promoter for Wasted Tyme, "He hangs out with us while we practice sometimes. He borrowed twenty bucks from me a few months back to get a domain name, maybe that's what he's filing about? No need, Man, he can keep it."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved