The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Minim Magazine Reports Lackluster Sales
(email to a friend)

NEW YORK, NY - Despite early optimism, the publishers of Minim magazine report lower-than-expected market penetration during their first three months in print. "This industry is slow by any other industry's measure," said editor Miles Godspell, "We've haven't reached our goal state for this point in time, no, but every magazine has to gain inertia before it can spin freely on its own axis." In contrast to other men's magazines, Minim focuses on images of thoroughly-clad women, many in their late forties and older. "Our focus groups told us time and again, 'We see enough hotties in the office'," explained Godspell, "When these guys come home, they want to relax with something non-threatening. We provide that."

"Our reception in the community of readership has been a somewhat frosty one."
-- Miles Godspell, Editor
"Man, what is this junk?" exclaimed one teenager when handed the latest copy of Minim, "I can see this at a family reunion. Or the teacher's lounge. Pass!" No amount of coaxing could convince the young man to keep the magazine. Others had similar responses. "What, is this like a joke?" asked one incredulous man, "People buy this? I sure wouldn't. And if they dropped it off free at the house, I'd let it stack up by the mailbox and rot."

"We acknowledge that our reception in the community of readership has been a somewhat frosty one," edged Godspell, "But as I said, we're convinced we're on to something. Look at Miss September here. Wal-Mart T-shirt, stretch pants, flip-flops. An all American mom. If you met her, would you be afraid of her? Would you go all weak and wobbly?" Looking at her missing teeth and unshaven chin, I had to admit that I would not. "There we have it then," said Godspell triumphantly, "You see?"

September's promotional offers include half-priced subscriptions and a complimentary copy of Minim's Swim Fins Edition 2004.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved