The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Ayatollah/al-Sadr Peace Deal Collapses; 'He's a Whack-O'
(email to a friend)

NAJAF, Iraq - Hopes were high Thursday when it was announced that a peace deal had been struck between Shiite Cleric Muqtada al-Sadr and Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani. But those hopes quickly faded amid reports that al-Sistani privately referred to al-Sadr as a 'Whack-O'. "I may not have the translation exactly correct," admitted a man who claims he overheard the Ayatollah, "It may have been 'Whack Job', or 'Whacked Out', but it definitely was derogatory." Al-Sadr has vowed to dig in and instruct his followers to 'fight to their last drop of blood' after the grave insult became public.

"The child of Allah is mistaken, I assure you," said an aide to al-Sistani, "The Ayatollah would not speak in this manner." However similar comments have been attributed to al-Sistani in the past. He reportedly referred to Saddam Hussein as "a pompous, coked-up dimwit" and President Bush as a "salivating dog, eagerly awaiting the scraps of our land." The ever-secretive Ayatollah refuses to comment on these allegations.

"It's a very sad development," said Kasim Daoud, Iraq's minister of state for military affairs, "We looked forward to the conclusion of this. Now it is brought back upon us. Why can't we all just get along?"

"That might be a record for peace-deals," said Marine Captain Barry Catson, "Even by Iraqi standards, sixty-three minutes isn't very long."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved