The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Schwarzenegger Accidentally Orders Destruction of State Park
(email to a friend)

SACRAMENTO, California - Calaveras Big Trees State Park narrowly avoided destruction Monday after a misunderstanding between Governor Schwarzenegger and his Interior Secretary Gale Norton. "I guess you could call it another case of bad cellular," laughed Norton, "Though it wasn't a joke this morning, I can tell you. I couldn't imagine why the governor wanted to dispense with the entire park, but as you can imagine, nobody questions the Governator." Norton called Schwarzenegger in New York at the Republican National Convention to remind him of an appointment. "I was just being conversational, I mentioned how pleasant it was there among the Big Trees. 'Dispense with the pleasant trees,' he told me. What could I do?"

"'Dispense with the pleasant trees,' he told me. What could I do?"
-- Interior Secretary Gale Norton
Norton mobilized the State Forestry Service to initiate an emergency 'prescribed burn' designed to eliminate the trees within the borders of Calaveras Big Trees State Park. Only the quick thinking of a forestry worker saved the forest from sure destruction. "I just couldn't understand why we were getting ready to destroy these beautiful trees," said forest service technician Albert Carrison, "So I got ahold of Terry over at Interior, and he called in a few favors and got the Governor to personally sign off on the plan. Of course, thankfully, he explained that no such order had been given."

Following orders without question has been a hallmark of those serving under Governor Schwarzenegger. The most famous case was the worker this April that tumbled into a swimming pool after being told to 'go jump in the lake,' by the governor. "I don't understand all the fuss," said Governor Schwarzenegger, from the floor of the convention, "If people serving in my administration have confidence in my ability to lead them, why should they fail to obey my every command? If this leads to certain unforeseen negative consequences, so be it."
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved