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Schwarzenegger Accidentally Orders Destruction of State Park
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SACRAMENTO, California - Calaveras Big Trees State Park narrowly avoided destruction Monday after a misunderstanding between Governor Schwarzenegger and his Interior Secretary Gale Norton. "I guess you could call it another case of bad cellular," laughed Norton, "Though it wasn't a joke this morning, I can tell you. I couldn't imagine why the governor wanted to dispense with the entire park, but as you can imagine, nobody questions the Governator." Norton called Schwarzenegger in New York at the Republican National Convention to remind him of an appointment. "I was just being conversational, I mentioned how pleasant it was there among the Big Trees. 'Dispense with the pleasant trees,' he told me. What could I do?"

"'Dispense with the pleasant trees,' he told me. What could I do?"
-- Interior Secretary Gale Norton
Norton mobilized the State Forestry Service to initiate an emergency 'prescribed burn' designed to eliminate the trees within the borders of Calaveras Big Trees State Park. Only the quick thinking of a forestry worker saved the forest from sure destruction. "I just couldn't understand why we were getting ready to destroy these beautiful trees," said forest service technician Albert Carrison, "So I got ahold of Terry over at Interior, and he called in a few favors and got the Governor to personally sign off on the plan. Of course, thankfully, he explained that no such order had been given."

Following orders without question has been a hallmark of those serving under Governor Schwarzenegger. The most famous case was the worker this April that tumbled into a swimming pool after being told to 'go jump in the lake,' by the governor. "I don't understand all the fuss," said Governor Schwarzenegger, from the floor of the convention, "If people serving in my administration have confidence in my ability to lead them, why should they fail to obey my every command? If this leads to certain unforeseen negative consequences, so be it."
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