The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --




Book (New!)


RSS feed for The Bentinel

Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy

Did you know?
Al-Douri Not in Custody, Guernsey's Mark Dorey Held in Iraq
(email to a friend)

BAGHDAD, Iraq - The fledgling Iraqi government has offered its "deepest apologies and regrets" for the arrest and incarceration of Guernsey's Housing deputy minister Mark Dorey. "The minister's short stature, his angular features, even his moustache made him indistinguishable from Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri, one of Saddam's top lieutenants," said Defense Minister Hazim al-Shalaan, "The resemblance is so striking, we can hardly be held liable for the mistake." The minister promised the immediate release and swift return of Dorey to Guernsey.

"This is just a bloody cock-up of the absolute highest order."
-- Housing Development Secretary Aiken Dickson
Dorey was on a consulting mission sponsored by the island government of Guernsey. A native of Sark, Dorey has served as the Housing deputy minister for three years. "When the mainland asked us to send a representative volunteer, Mark was the obvious choice," said Housing Development Secretary Aiken Dickson, "He's one of the few among us that spoke passable Arabic. Beyond that, he had a look that we thought would let him fit in. This is just a bloody cock-up of the absolute highest order."

Initial reports out of Iraq suggested that al-Douri was in custody, though this was immediately questioned. "Intelligence strongly suggests that Al-Douri is not currently in Iraq," a senior Pentagon official commented, "Thus any report suggesting his capture within its borders would be greeted with skepticism. That it was a case of mistaken identity is absolutely not a surprise."

Dorey is married and has at least two children. Calls left at the home of Mark Dorey were not returned.
(email to a friend)


Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (, All Rights Reserved