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Reagan's Face in Scratch-Off Lottery Ticket Tells Woman "Vote Republican"
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ALLAMUCHY, New Jersey - Gretchen Fundy played her weekly scratch-off lottery ticket Wednesday, but she never got to see what she won. "I took my lucky Troll and started scratching the ticket with his feet, as usual," reported the 73-year-old woman, "And just as I was scratching off the Prize Bonanza Doubler space -- I always scratch that first so I can get excited about a double-prize -- I looked down and just screamed! The scratches left the spitting image of Ronald Reagan in 'Cattle Queen of Montana'. I couldn't believe it. As I stared at it, I heard his voice saying, 'Well Gretchen, you go out there and vote Republican, now. Ya hear?' And I will!"

"I'll never scratch it off. How could I?"
-- Gretchen Fundy, Ticket Holder
"She was always a big fan of President Reagan, I mean, even when he wasn't called that, because he wasn't one yet. A President, that is. I'm a little nervous," said Fundy's live-in niece, Rachel Fundy. Rachel bought the ticket for Fundy when she had gone out for bread, butter sticks, and a box of Pop-Tarts from a 7-11. "They cost a little more there, but they sell Aunt Gretchie's lottery there, and it's easier to get it all in one stop," Rachel explained, "I picked that ticket for her special. The clerk tried to sell me one of them 'Jersey Jackpot's, but I just knew I ought to buy the 'Miner's Challenge'. I'm so glad I did!"

"It's telling that people only see things like this in ways familiar to them," said Professor Alton Wycliff, Director of the Center for Paranormal Research, "No Buddhist ever sees Jesus in a tub of butter, and no American Christian ever sees a truly Jewish Mary in a paint stain. People see what they expect to see. Our research has shown that most people that have one paranormal experience tend to have more than one. Is that because Jesus, Mary, and Reagan seek these people out? That would be one explanation, but not the one I would favor."

Asked if she thinks the ticket is a winner, Fundy replied, "Of course it is! The Gipper wouldn't show himself on a loser, would he? I know it's a winner, but I'll never scratch it off. How could I? I'll add it to my collection." Fundy also has a rock that looks like Elvis and a garden trowel with dirt forming the words 'I am the way'.
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