The Bentinel Logo Home | FAQ | Links | Book (New!) | Archive
Google
    Web TheBentinel.com
Bending the truth to fit the facts!
-- Clean, family-friendly news satire and parody --
 

Home

FAQ

Links

Book (New!)

Archive

RSS feed for The Bentinel




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


Did you know?
Everybody Resigns From Everything
(email to a friend)

EVERYWHERE - Political and Social analysts are struggling to explain the spate of resignations sweeping the nation. "When Powell and Ashcroft 'resigned', it just looked like a standard changing of the guard," said Derrick Staan, political columnist for The New York Times, "But with Ridge stepping down, its clear we're dealing with a genuine epidemic." Not limited to the political arena, the scourge has struck sports, unions, and civil rights organizations as well. "Nobody saw Mfume's resignation coming," said an anonymous NAACP official, "It was as if it were simply fated to be."

"Like all human activities, political intrigue is subject to circadian rhythms."
-- Professor of Political Science, Michael Slayde
"When all political/hierarchical waves trough simultaneously, we get... unpredictable results," explained Professor of Political Science, Michael Slayde, "Like all human activities, political intrigue is subject to the circadian rhythms that thrum through all of us. I felt a strong urge to stop participating in my son's Little League, but upon consulting my biorhythms and those of a few friends, I realized I was simply under the influence of a waxing political trend."

Not everyone is convinced the resignations are connected. "C'mon people," raved Bill Maher, appearing on the Tonight Show, "It's a new administration! It's a new year! People resign, it's a big country. Let's not get all mystical when a half dozen people all say 'Boo' at once here. Besides, do we really believe Ashcroft 'resigned'?"

Despite similar comments from other analysts, resignations continue to pour in. "Our PTA is down to the treasurer and the woman who always brings cupcakes," lamented PTA treasurer Lauren Beaks, "But you know what I say? More cupcakes for me!"

If a genuine "trough" is the culprit, Slayde says it shouldn't last long. "One wave or two has no effect. It takes many different sines all striking the same low point at the same time to bring the political community down like this," he said, "In no time at all things will be back to normal."
(email to a friend)


TOP STORIES
   





Looking for the best web site in the whole world? Look no further than ZachsWorld.org! Loonwatch Islamophobia Ilisha, a site exposing the lies about Islam and Muslims. Do you think you have a Russian Girlfriend? Think again! Are you looking for a family portrait or wedding photographer in Dallas, Texas? Images by Andi is here for you! Looking for gently-used, cheap, tax-free cigarettes? They're available here. In the market for Weber Grills? This site has 'em. Are you addicted to sugar? Then you could use Self-Help for Sugar Addiction. Like movies? Check out these Movie Trailers. Down on your luck? Perhaps you'll need some Prescription Drugs Online. If that doesn't help, maybe you'll just stay home and Download movies. With the money you save on popcorn, you can play at this online casino . If you're driven into Drug Abuse, this site has the answer. Like jokes? Visit The Joke Teller Web Site! Like games or programs? Go to Josef's site!

Copyright 2003-2004, The Bentinel (http://TheBentinel.com), All Rights Reserved