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Dragon Models: "We Do Not Negotiate With Terrorists"
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CITY OF INDUSTRY, California - In the face of the news that a Special Ops Cody action figure has been taken hostage by an Islamic extremist group, officials with Dragon Models USA took a firm stand. "It has been our position, and remains our position, that we do not negotiate with terrorists," said CEO Michael Warren, "Our sympathies are with Special Ops Cody and all the other figures in his product line, but we don't think the best interests of the toy community are served by giving in." The group, calling itself the Al Mujahedeen Brigade, is threatening to disassemble the doll if its demands for the release of Iraqi prisoners is not met.

"Of course, you can imagine how embarrassing this is for us."
-- al-Qaeda official
"Of course, you can imagine how embarrassing this is for us," explained an al-Qaeda official on condition of anonymity, "We've worked for years to build a reputation in the world community. Then these amateur groups pull something like this, makes us all look bad."

Other toys in the Special Ops line were less convinced of their maker's position. "They got Cody, that's all I need to hear," said Bandolier Brian, "My team's ready to move now! They don't want to negotiate? Fine, neither do we. Just let us out of these boxes and we'll take care of business." Sierra Assault, the only female team member added, "They don't respect women, wait till they see how much disrespect I can dish out!"

Several veterans' groups have offered to purchase a new "Cody" figure, rather than attempt to retrieve the one taken hostage. Summing up the views of the team, Brian responded, "The thought is appreciated, but it just wouldn't be the same. There's only one Cody #600,306. Only one."
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